Letter from Vince Cable

This week I received an actual letter from the actual Vince Cable. Not just a bit of paper but an actual letter in an envelope, addressed to me. Look, it's got his signature on it, and a little picture and everything!

So what does it say? Well, first of all he says the economy's in a bit of a mess. Next, he says I really ought to vote. I'm agreeing with him so far. Then he says in big bold letters, "After thirteen years of disappointment, you've seen what Labour can do."

Sigh. We were getting on so well. He goes on to dedicate a paragraph to the wickedness of Gordon Brown with his failure to end the bankers' bonus culture, and the stoopidness of David Cameron and George Osborne with their planned "swingeing" (my new least favourite word) cuts.

Only then does he go on to talk about the Lib Dems ,who, he says, are going to beat the banks into shape and sort out a fairer tax system to put money back in the pockets of "ordinary families".

Verdict

Nice try Vince, but after all that complaining about how dreadful the other guys are, I'd stopped paying attention by the time I got to the part about you. Still, nice of you to write. I look forward to the Christmas card.